Chasing Cars
I’m writing this from the plane. I’m about three hours into my six hour flight and I can barely keep my eyes open but at the same time can’t sleep. My head is a mess. I’m probably going though one of the hardest days of my life. I can’t believe the summer is over and I’m going home. It feels like I just arrived in Orlando. I didn’t have enough time. There were so many things I wanted to do but didn’t, although there were also so many things I hadn’t planned on doing but they turned out to be amazing. The summer was definitely a rollercoaster of change in my life. I started out shy and had no idea how I was going to survive so long away from home. Now, leaving is the worst thing ever. I had no idea I’d make such amazing friends. This summer I found myself living the kind of life I always wanted. I’ve gone through life being so quiet and shy and losing myself in other people’s lives because mine was just so boring. The boringness of my life was partially my fault, but also can be faulted by the location of my home town and the kind of people I grew up with. There really wasn’t much to do in Ladysmith but drink and be stupid, neither of which I was interested in.I guess I’ll recap my last days in Orlando, although reliving them will undoubtedly have me sobbing again.
Wednesday was my last day at Coaster. Probably one weirdest days I spent at RRC. Because of the impending arrival of hurricane ‘Ernesto’ the park was pretty dead. The line barely ever became a line. I started work at 9am that morning and went on until 8:30pm that evening. It was a very long final shift but I’m glad of it. I pretty much worked every single position but FP Distribution, FP Return and Front Grouper. Not bad at all, as those are three of the most loathed positions. Jimmy and Claire started work in the afternoon which was lovely. I’m so glad Jimmy was working for Claire’s and my last shift. Wish other people had been working as well, but we can’t win them all. I pretty much went around all day commenting on how I was going to miss crossing the track and how I was going to miss other stupid little things. This amused everyone greatly, but the truth is, I really do miss those things. All the little things build up into the big package, after all.
We concluded the final shift with one last all ride, I sat by Jimmy, Claire and Ryan in the row behind us. We all got the picture. I’m going to probably look at it later and cry again. Although pretty much anything is setting me off right now.
So after work on Wednesday we all went for one last trip to Perkins, well for me and Claire that is. We were going to do Wishes but the rain was pouring and none of us felt like standing outside in it. So we had food at Perkins. Then Claire, Ryan, Josh, Jimmy and I all went back to Ryan and Josh’s place. Josh had to sleep so he kind of passed out on the floor while the rest of us played Mario Party. We played until like 2am then we were all kind of tired and falling asleep. At some point Ryan swears he told Claire and I we were spending the night but the two of us never heard and him and Jimmy disappeared into Ryan’s room. So Claire and I sat out there for over an hour confused and kind of irritated. Eventually Josh woke up and we related the story to him. He got very pissed off at Ryan for ‘abandoning’ us and was very adamant that Claire and I get comfortable and go to sleep. He would not sleep, despite us demanding he do so, until we were lying down. I ended up on the futon and Claire on the floor. I think I got about 4.5 hours of sleep that night.
The next morning we all woke up and Claire, Ryan and I got ready for our day of park fun. Jimmy had to go to work. The three of us went over to Vista and Ryan hung in my apt. while Claire and I got ready. I was ready ages before Claire and ended up spending a great deal of time packing. She eventually showed about an hour after we got there and we took off. Initially the plan had been to do all four parks, but seeing as it was already 1 in the afternoon before we were even leaving Vista, we decided to do the Magic Kingdom then go see Fantasmic at MGM.
Magic Kingdom was a blast. We met up with Kim and Michael and then Josh came and joined us when he got off work. We all pretended to be Ryan’s wives. He got a top hat and the rest of us had tiaras (yes, even Josh and Michael wore em). Claire even ran to Guest Relations and got us those just married pins. So the six of us were walking around looking like that, getting congratulated left right and center. Of course no one considered that we’d all be Ryan’s wives, so they pretty much just thought we were three married couples.
We did most of Magic Kingdom, then at 7 went of MGM and sat down for Fantasmic. It was good. It was sad. You know the drill.
After Fantasmic we met people at the Coaster breakroom and then everyone headed over to Ale House. One last Ale House night for Claire and I. I was pretty quiet all night long, lost in my thoughts. I had fun, though. I really do love all of those people so much. We left Ale House at about 2am and I got home at 2:30am and finished my packing then tried to clean up the kitchen a bit. Annoyest of all roommates, Laura, came home with a bunch of people and beer. I took a page out of Josh’s book, as Claire put it, and spoke my mind. I told them all to leave. Even though it was our last night and nothing would likely have happened, I didn’t want to chance it. Plus I was pissed at Laura and her friends. I walked out of the kitchen for one minute and I came back and one of her friends was on my computer, which I happened to be using. I’d left up browsers and chats and stuff. I was very irritated. So now pretty much all the other girls hate me, but whatever, I hate them more! In fact the only one I actually left liking was Ryan ( the girl I shared a room with).
So this morning Ryan came to get me at Vista. First we said bye to Claire then we went back to his place to pick up Josh. Then we drove to MGM. Josh went to work, Ryan and I sat in the break room to wait for Jimmy to get there so I could say goodbye. In between I had one last Take 5 meal.
When Jimmy got there we pretty much went and hung out with him in position until I had to go. Well at one point I left and made the rounds to say goodbye. By the time I returned to Jimmy I was crying, which I hate. I hate crying. I hate leaving them all. Especially Jimmy. And Ryan. And Claire. And Josh. And Kim. And Michael. And everyone else. Life looks bleak without them all. Jimmy made me a cd which I’m kind of scared to listen to because I know I’ll start to bawl the minute I hear Chasing Cars, which is our song.
So after goodbyes Ryan drove me to the airport, I continued to cry in the car. I mean, when he paid the tolls I started to cry again cause he wouldn’t let me pay. Then when he dropped me off I cried more. Then I checked and kind of just wandered around the airport for awhile. Then I went through security and had some food at Burger King. There was a Cinnibon there and it reminded me of Jimmy, and I cried again. Then after I ate I bought some Oreo’s at the little gift shop and went to the bathroom and proceeded to cry more. I really wasn’t doing well, still am not. I finally got myself to stop and I went to my gate and sat down. Then my mom cried and the moment I started to talk more tears started to pour. Actually, more like sobs. I got on the plane, sat in my seat and cried for the first hour of the flight. Then I read my cosmo. Side note, free dinner on this plane, which was very unexpected as no one does that anymore. And in the magazine they say it’s 5 dollars.
So now I’m sitting here, with two hours left in my flight, trying not to cry some more. I know I will as just thinking about everyone is making tears form in my eyes. It’s going to be a long time before I’m okay again. I’m not even home yet and I hate it.
It was such an amazing summer and I’m desperate to return. I still haven’t eaten around the world at Epcot, or had dinner at Cinderella’s Castle, or gone to Typhoon Lagoon, or ridden Tomorrowland Speedway. I never managed to get up the guts to tell the guy I like I liked him, and now I’m thousands of miles away. I doubt he would have liked me in return, but one of my goals this summer was to not be so damn shy and actually say something. Oh well. I told Claire I didn’t care if he knows once I’m gone, so she’ll probably tell him. Or someone else will. It’s not like it matters anymore, seeing as I am, I repeat, thousands of miles away. I hate that. I don’t want to be thousands of miles away.
I miss CDS. GRRR. The only thing I don’t miss are my roommates. They don’t even qualify as people, they are things to me right now. After the way they were so rude to me without taking the time to bother talking to me about anything, it was stupid. Things isn't the right word, but I'm mad at them right now, so I'm being mean. Especially since I tried to be nice for the majority of the time and got nothing in return. Except Ryan (the girl).
This blog entry has pretty much turned into a novel. If anyone is still reading at this point, they deserve a gold star. To any of you coaster people who are reading, please please keep in touch. I want to hear from you guys all the time. I love you all and I miss you like crazy.
I’m going to watch a movie now and try and take my mind off of the mess that is my current life.
Love,
Brynna